Where the Sidewalk Begins ...

Bendable Things

Many of you have asked me about my arm recently, so I thought I'd do an update.
It's better. In fact, it's definitely improved. I don't know if it was the prednisone in March that kicked things into gear or what, but there's marked improvement. Thanks to Lunesta and a semi-regular schedule, I'm also sleeping again. I think that went a long way towards helping me heal.

I have full range of motion, which is good, and most of my strength, not that I ever had too much strength to begin with. I credit the Real Life for these improvements, and not Physical Therapy, which was mostly useless.

My palm and ring finger are mostly there, with just a little numbness. My pinkie is mostly numb, but none of them have the tingly feeling from before the surgery. My arm, between my elbow and wrist, is completely numb, like someone held an ice pack to it for far too long. It's strange, but liveable. The Nurse Practitioner told me that a nerve is like a phone cord (or Ethernet Cable). It's a bunch of wires protected by a sheath or tubing. When I had the surgery, the tubing was stripped. It can take up to two years to regenerate. (Cool - I'm regenerating.) Since I often feel itchy or burning in that area, I suppose its the healing process at work. The human body is pretty amazing.

I've kind of come to terms with the whole thing. I don't think it was a 100% successful surgery, unless random numbness is successful. But its all pretty much a non-issue in the scheme of life. If my biggest handicap is not recognizing immediately when I've touched a scalding hot stove, I'm not that bad off. Now, if it had gone on to become a claw - the end result of untreated cubital tunnel - then that would have been bad.

Elbow update

Especially after my previous post, I should probably offer an update on how my elbow is healing. I know this blog gets lots of hits on Ulnar Nerve Transposition. (Click here to view all the posts if that's why you're here.)

The update is that I'm not sure how my elbow is doing. It's different on any given day.

The actual elbow area - on the outside where the groove-like bone is -burns like hell a lot of the time, especially if I've been typing a lot. (And when aren't I typing?) Sometimes, it burns for no reason. This burning wraps around my arm, like an armband, to an exact spot on my scar that happens to be slightly greenish on close inspection. The dr's say that'll fade (the color, not the burning).

PTSD

So, I've spent some time in Dr's offices this week and it turns out that I'm suffering from a mild (let's really stress the MILD thing) form of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Basically, I'm having trouble coping and it all leads back to the arm surgery. I was fine until about February, when I got the big worry - that the surgery didn't work and I may even end up worse than when I started. It's a huge worry and I think about it alot.
I'm probably worried for nothing, but it's still there, among other, smaller niggling worries that seem to have been made bigger because of the first worry.

Elbow Evolution

Because some of you are sadists, and some of you are just curious, I've started a Typepad Photo Album of my elbow healing. It's icky. Don't feel compelled to look.
I've posted it because 1) the elbow really is healing nicely and 2)there's no information on this out there.
When I tried to find out how I would feel AFTER the surgery, there was no information. Ulnar nerve transposition surgery is fairly irregular, and the information is limited. I wanted to know how my bandage would look, what my scar might look like, and how I would feel. There was nothing. So now, on the off chance there's someone else looking for that stuff, there's a little something that I hope is informative as well as icky. I did caption the photos, you know.
As the elbow continues to heal, I'll continue posting photos. The photos aren't the greatest since it's not only hard to take a photo of the inside of your elbow, it was hard to do it with my right hand.
Oh- how do I feel? Well, I definitely have good days and bad days. My guess is that I've been typing too much the last few days because I'm in a lot of pain today. A lot. But I'm really done with just sitting around the house too ... We'll just chalk today up to a bad day and I'll go rest.

Technorati Tags: ulnar nerve, elbow surgery, cubital tunnel

Elbow Health

As far as my elbow goes, I'm a lot better. I'd put me at about 65-70%. That's probably about right, considering that I've got about 2 more weeks before the wound is officially healed.

I'm typing better, but I also can only type for short periods of time, or my ring finger gets shooting pain. The pinkie is better and even felt normal for about 2 minutes the other day.

I can almost eat with my left hand again, can almost fasten various female accoutrements all by myself, and can now use both hands to shampoo my hair.

All is looking up.

Technorati: elbow, ulnar, ulnar nerve, elbow surgery, cubital tunnel

cruisin'

since typing time is limited for me, here's the update on what's been happening since christmas.

- for xmas, we went to my grandma's in indiana. it was pretty relaxing and we had a good time. we also caught the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe while we were there. washington, indiana, has an old-fashioned theatre on main street, with two very tiny screens. it's incredibly cheap to see first-run movies there. i liked the movie and was impressed by how true they stayed to the book. (i'm re-reading the whole series (thanks kara!) and am just about done.)

- kevin got me some wonderful gifts, including a rowlf the dog muppet puppet from 1978 and a tiffany's bracelet. yay kev!

- my elbow and hand are slowly improving. it's a little more each day. i had a few really depressing days this week. i can't do things like wash my hair with my left hand, bring a fork to my mouth with my left hand, and so forth. all sorts of things you'd never think of (like fastening a bra) are hard for me. no one realizes how much they depend on their elbows ... anyway, i had a follow-up appointment yesterday, where i discovered that i'm normal, that nerve surgery takes up to 6 or more weeks to completely heal, and that i can't even start therapy for another 4 weeks, as the wound takes forever to heal (due to the location on the elbow). i still have a lot of trouble in my pinkie. there's also a new numbness in my arm that is freaky and could take up to 24 months to heal. we'll see, i guess, if this surgery and pain was worth it in my long run ( i won't get a claw hand, i guess).  in the meantime, it's painkillers and gauze for me.

- my body has been so busy trying to heal my arm that it let it's guard down elsewhere. i seem to have caught one hell of a cold. this is so not fair ...

- we've been checking out information on our cruise. turns out our oceanview rooms were "accidentally" changed to interior closets, er, i mean rooms, under the main staircase. the ship is sold out and we can't change the rooms back. hopefully the claustrophobia will not kick in ... having never been on a cruise, i have no idea what it will be like or how small those rooms will be. we leave sunday for miami and sail on monday. we'll be back in town late next saturday night.

- we're spending a relaxing new year's eve with kate and ben. it should be fun - it sounds like ben is whipping up quite the gourmet dinner for us and we're providing wine. it's also close to home, which is handy since we're off to the airport early the next morning.

my arm is starting to throb, so i'm going to stop typing. i'm wishing everyone a happy and safe new year's!

Technorati: elbow, ulnar, ulnar nerve, elbow surgery, cubital tunnel

idog for xmas - and healing

had the surgery last friday. started coming out of the drug-induced haze on monday. had family over for large xmas celebration on saturday. in all photos, i look very out of it - like i'm on another planet or something. i have foggy memories of the whole thing.
had some reactions to painkillers, but they switched it so now i seem to be agreeing with the painkillers a little more.
i hate having limited use of my left arm and hand. and my pinkie finger is tingly, or completely numb, or sometimes, functioning with a little brain all its own. it's quite strange. i feel my body healing - it's a unique experience, and exhausting. but sometimes, i feel weird tremors, or tingles, or just flat out pain. it's all just part of the process.
typing is difficult. it's painstaking to type this. really. and the shift key is out of the question.
today i learned that i'm not near as better as i think. i overdid it this morning and now i'm in considerable pain. also, bored out of my mind, which is why i'm braving the pain and blogging a little. tonite we take the bandages off, which should be creepy and slightly painful. i'll still wear a wrap for a protection, and a sling, for at least another 10 days. other than today's overkill, i anticipate improving on a daily basis. and maybe getting my pinkie finger under control ...
oh - i got an idog for xmas from my dad. he is positively adorable, although slightly needy with the barking and feeding and such. he eats music!

Technorati: elbow, ulnar, ulnar nerve, elbow surgery, cubital tunnel

Because I do a poor job explaining things ...

Because I get excited and words tend to tumble, you can read exactly what is wrong with my elbow, and exactly what they're doing to fix it, here. It's the perfect explanation and there are pretty pictures and everything. (I did have the conservative treatment - various kinds - since May, which is why we're moving into surgical treatment.)
The hand issue hasn't affected my way of life that much. It hurts a lot if I'm cold, and hurts if I spend the day typing (yeah, I know). However, if it's not fixed, I'll get a claw. Who wants a claw? It's not like it would be metal or have super powers or anything. So, surgery on Friday 12/16. Cast for 2 weeks. Cruise for 1 week, and back to business as usual.

Technorati: elbow, ulnar, ulnar nerve, elbow surgery, cubital tunnel

Surgery

Went to the neurosurgeon today. He agrees that there is a compressed nerve in my neck, but was more concerned about the numbness/tinging thing in my left hand & arm. Apparently we're going to deal with the neck thing once we get the arm taken care of. Great.
Anyway, my ulnar nerve is being squished by my elbow and has to be moved. It's called Ulnar Nerve Entrapment and they need to set the poor nerve free. If they don't, my hand could become claw-like. That is called Ulnar Claw or Benedictine Claw (which made me laugh a lot). Since I would rather avoid the claw thing, I agreed to the surgery on my elbow.
Here's the thing. I just landed that HUGE project, which starts January 11. I'm also on a cruise on 1/1 - 1/6. We're doing the surgery on Friday. 12/16. Ack! That's really really soon - in fact, I didn't process how soon until we got home from the dr.
I'll have the surgery, which is blessedly outpatient, on 12/16. I'll have my cast removed on 12/26. From that point on, I can gradually start using my arm and I can use the time on the cruise to fully recover. I should be back to typing (although I'm not sure how much) by the time my project starts on 1/11. I hope. At least, that's what I'm shooting for. I'm not doing training in January, because that's sort of physically taxing for me anyway, and I don't want to push things too much. So, we'll see what happens ...
I was thrilled to find out that the Cincinnati Ballet let me exchange my Nutcracker tickets! We were originally attending on 12/16, but that's sort of out of the question now. We're now going to the Nutcracker on 12/22, my grandmother's on 12/23, and Phantom of the Opera on 12/25. All while my arm is immobilized in a cast.
I'm kind of concerned about a few things - mostly because I'm left-handed. I'm unable to write, use silverware, or curl my hair with my right hand. Guess I need to practice over the next week, eh?
I also have a ton of stuff to complete before the surgery. I have to see my family dr for a pre-surgery physical, I have to go to the hospital for a pre-surgery appointment where they tell me I might die under anesthesia, I have a huge project with an impossible deadline of 12/15, I have to make some apple pies for the neighbors, I have to finish shopping and wrapping. It's all kind of crazy. After the 16th, Kevin is in charge of everything, but I don't really want him shopping or wrapping. Has anyone else seen him wrap a gift? ;-)
Ack! So much to do - so little time.

Technorati: elbow, ulnar, ulnar nerve, elbow surgery, cubital tunnel

Friday

Well, the dr, having reviewed my films and test results, has scheduled me for an appointment this Friday. I was expecting either a direction to go to therapy or an appointment in several weeks. I hadn't expected it all to happen quite so fast.
Since this is the same guy who did my back surgery, I'm hoping the speedy service means that he remembers me and is treating me like an existing patient even though I am technically a "new" patient again. It could also mean that my neck injury is fairly bad, but I'd rather believe the former.  So, I guess I'll update after my Friday appointment. Gotta say I'm slightly nervous.

Technorati: elbow, ulnar, ulnar nerve, elbow surgery, cubital tunnel

Status Report

Work and health updates:

Well, since Project A is running over (argh!) and I can't seem to get rid of my training gig, I don't have the hours free for Project B, which was Instructional Design and therefore I am quite sad. I really wanted Project B. It was hard having to explain to the Project Manager that because of someone else's poor project management, she'd have to find another Instructional Designer, and fast. I don't know if that company is overly thrilled with me right now, which I haven't decided how I feel about yet.  On the up side, I'll now have more time to bake for the neighbors (as I do every holiday) and Chrismas shop, as well as make some pies and stuff for various family gatherings we're hosting this season.

As for the health thing .. well, my hand is still tingly and numb. That sucks. I have to keep wearing the strange splint/brace thing at night for at least another 4 weeks, probably another 8. I go back to the hand dr on Jan 12 to check on my progress.
However, after comparing the results of my EMG (electric shock/needle test) and MRI (squishy x-ray test), it's been determined that I have a squished, or rather, compressed nerve at C6-C7 in my neck, as well as degenerative disc disease. I'm not overly sure where that is. So the hand dr is sending me back to my back dr, who operated on my lower back in 2002. Yep - back to the neurosurgeon. Getting an appointment is next to impossible, but I took my films and reports over to his office today to speed the process along. I'm considered a new patient again (lower priority I think), because I haven't seen him in a few years. He is an awesome dr, and I trust him. I suppose while I'm there, I'll ask him why my lower back hurts all the time again, although I'm pretty sure I know that answer (arthritis and degenerative disc disease). So we'll see where that leads.
That's the update. Back to work for me!

Technorati: elbow, ulnar, ulnar nerve, elbow surgery, cubital tunnel

Claustrophobia Today

Claustrophobia is one of those things you hear about, even joke about, unless you experience it. It's hard to really imagine and its a very sudden thing.
When I was in high school, I had a friend, Kelsey, who was creative and outgoing. This was fostered by her family - also creative and outgoing. Kelsey was always sort of edgy and she was a year older than me. I had harboured a crush on her brother, Kierstan, since grade school. He was my age. I also had a killer crush on their cousin Brian, who I thought lived far away but occasionally visited. (Turns out he lived in Northern Ky, which was about 20 miles away, but what did I know?)
Kelsey's family took me spelunking once. The whole day is sort of blur, except for a couple of scenes. Kelsey and I were there with Brian, Kierstan, Brian's mom, and Kelsey's dad. We were wandering through gorgeous caves. Then there came a small round tunnel that you had to crawl through on your stomach. I'll never forget it. I got stuck halfway through, with Kelsey in front of me and Kierstan behind me. I think they had to drag me out. I know I cried. I had experienced this unbelievable sense of the world, everything, closing in on me, squishing me, and I couldn't breathe. I was sent above ground to hyperventilate in the peaceful open, non-squishing landscape. That's the day I learned I was claustrophobic. It's a hard thing to learn in front of two guys on whom you have a crush.
I feel it occasionally in overcrowded elevators. I usually avoid unorganized crowds because I feel it then. I felt it a bit when I had the Open MRI for my lower back. That wasn't too awful though, because my head was free and I had headphones. Music is very distracting and calming. However, I remember thinking that "open MRI" is a matter of perspective.
Today I had an MRI on my cervical spine, otherwise known as my neck. Remember how my left fingers are numb? That crazy needle/electrical test (EMG) I had in October deduced the numbness might be caused by a compressed nerve in my neck. Great.
When I chose where to have this MRI, I chose ProScan at Paul Brown Stadium. My theory? It's where the Bengals "live," therefore the MRIs are wider and more open. Gigantic football players have to fit in these machines. Well, my theory played out. The MRI center was right next to the field entrance under the stadium, so that injured players could immediately have an MRI. The professionals there assured me that these are, indeed, the largest, most open, Open MRIs in the city. In fact, the machine didn't even look that threatening.
Until they locked me into it,

Not so smurfy

The test was painful. They tell you it won't be, but it is. Really. Many many needles. Like acupuncture, but with pain. And electrical shocks. Ugh. I'm typing with one hand. Slowly. I'm bad at this hunt - n- peck stuff. Anyway, I'll talk to dr at the end of the month to find out what all the electrical mumbo-jumbo really meant.

I'm posting because I saw this and wanted to share - this is not so smurfy. I get the point just reading it; seeing it would probably make me cry. (It doesn't take much, you know.)

Technorati: elbow, ulnar, ulnar nerve, elbow surgery, cubital tunnel, EMG

Electromyogram & Nerve Conduction

Remember how my fingers were going numb? Well, I saw a hand specialist a week ago and he confirmed the diagnosis of Cubital Tunnel Syndrome. Anyway, we don't yet know what to do about it as we don't know how severe it is. He doesn't think it's very severe - I think that I lose feeling in my fingers and THAT'S A BAD THING! Or at least, it's a really really freaky thing.
So today I go for an EMG and Nerve Conduction Test. Then we'll apparently know if it's severe or not and the Hand Dr will plot our course from there. I return to him, test results in, um, hand, on 10/28 - right before I head to Florida.

Technorati: elbow, ulnar, ulnar nerve, elbow surgery, cubital tunnel, EMG

Tidal Wave of Work

Out of the blue and all of a sudden.
I was thrilled that I had two great clients through August - including one huge client that will last for at least a year for roughly 20 hours per week. I figure I can give 60 hours each week to my clients, reserving the rest of the hours for eating and sleeping and occasionally leaving the house.
Now one of my repeat clients has called me and they need me for 2-3 weeks in August and are unable to tell me how much work there is with that tight of a deadline. "Oh it's nothing - won't take you long at all," which they are currently saying, is something they have said before. I'm nothing if not honest with my clients, so if I go to take a look at it this week (before committing to the project) and it's bigger than they are implying, I'm telling them.  However, if I turn this down I run the risk of losing the company that was not only my first client ever, but a solid, recurring client. That would be bad for business and make me sad.
If the project really is small, then I can do it without a problem. It may be web-based, which I really like and for some reason I find much easier and faster to document than desktop-based software.
On top of that, I fully expect the client who has kept me busy for the last year to call out of the blue and say, "Hey! We've got an update before the official release date. Can you make some last-minute changes?" I don't expect that to take longer than a day, but I do expect it to happen.
Wow. This is all really good.  The downside, other than that I'll be working my tail off in August, is my hand/arm. It's acting up again, with sporadic numbness up and down my arm to my elbow. I've got my special typing gloves and a new brace for my elbow, so let's cross our fingers and hope it all makes a difference. Stupid ulnar nerve.
Okay, despite the potential for stress and bad time management that may be lurking in my August, I'm pretty excited about all these projects. It's cool to be needed and they're all pretty cool clients.

<p><span style="font-size: 0.6em;">Technorati: <a rel="tag" href="http://technorati.com/tag/elbow">elbow</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ulnar" rel="tag">ulnar</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ulnar+nerve" rel="tag">ulnar nerve</a>, <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/elbow+surgery" rel="tag">elbow surgery</a>, <a rel="tag" href="http://technorati.com/tag/cubital+tunnel">cubital tunnel</a></span></p>

Ergonomics

So this whole cubital tunnel pain thing made me take a good long look at my office setup. The potential for good ergonomics was there - I just wasn't taking advantage of it.
I now have the desktop machine on desk A, with a wrist rest in front of the keyboard and mouse.  The keyboard is on the lower keyboard tray.
I re-installed the keyboard tray under desk B and stuck it next to desk A, in sort of an L shape. The laptop is there, with the external mouse and keyboard on the tray. One of my biggest mistakes previously was not using the external keyboard with my laptop. It has a huge screen - using an external keyboard is not a problem.
I bought a PodiumPad to both allow for cooling of my giant laptop and to raise up the screen so that I'm not slouching or looking down at the screen. It's great.  I also bought an iCurve, but it made the screen too high. I'm returning it to the Apple store tomorrow and picking up a second PodiumPad for the iBook.

Big Sigh of Relief

A huge sigh of relief went out from me today on the top three stress-inducing items in my life.

3. My iBook shipped today from Amazon.com.  Yay!  I should have it Wednesday morning!  Yay!  I'm very happy it wasn't delayed.

2. My cubital tunnel syndrome was re-diagnosed today as I went to my regular physician. He says the ulnar nerve is like a garden hose from my elbow to my pinky and that my garden hose is kinked at the elbow and at the wrist. We just need to un-kink it. He proved his point by touching my elbow in a certain spot and sending what felt like electrical shocks up my arm.
Anyway, he said that he believes the situation is temporary and I'll be all fine as soon as I can stop typing and putting stress on my elbow/wrist/nerve. He took away the irritating brace from the urgent care and prescribed some cortisone pills and some anti-inflammatories. I also stopped and got some cycling gloves (with his approval) that support the ulna nerve and help reduce numbness. I'm typing in them. These are WAY better than the brace.  The good news in all this is that my condition is temporary. Yay!

1. The number one worry and the one that kept me up last night - my sister's decision to get herself engaged two days after she graduated high school. My dad had a little talk with the happy couple. They aren't even going to set a date for two years and don't expect to plan the wedding until her senior year in college.  Thank god.  Maybe they'll make it - if so, all the better for them!  But you never know - she'll be on the volleyball team, travelling, making new friends. Her whole world may change (if she lets it).  I feel so much better knowing they're not even setting a date for two years.  Whoo! Crisis averted. All is well. (4/2006 Update: This didn't work. They're getting married in August of this year so they can have sex. There's a good reason.)

Technorati: elbow, ulnar, ulnar nerve, elbow surgery, cubital tunnel

Cubital Tunnel

Yesterday I woke up and my left pinkie was tingling, as if I'd slept on it wrong. As the day wore on, it continued to tingle, going numb occasionally, and spreading at times through my palm to my wrist then my elbow. I took much aspirin.
I woke up this morning and the tingling/numbness sensations had spread to my ring finger. I freaked out. This could not be normal. I refrained from researching it though, as Internet diagnoses tend to scare me a lot and be worse case scenarios.
It hurts, for example, when I apply pressure - such as when my fingers hit a keyboard.
We went to Urgent Care. The dr instantly knew what it was: Cubital Tunnel Syndrome. Carpal tunnel affects your thumb, second and third fingers. A different nerve - the ulnar - is irritated in cubital tunnel. I think it makes it sound like I spent too much of my life in cubicals. ;-) (Not true - for at least 80% of my career I had my own office, although sometimes by chance.)
So I currently have a brace on my wrist and I'm supposed to refrain from typing. (Yeah, I know.) It's a good thing we leave on an Internet-free vacation on Wednesday.  I'm going to try to get in to see my primary care physician on Tuesday and see what he has to say.
Since I've had the brace on, I've had alternating sensations of a dull pressure and of an intense tingling, as if my hand is "waking up." It's all very strange.
I'm going to be rearranging my office and purchasing an ergonomic keyboard to use with my laptop as well.  I use both my laptop and desktop machines equally, but the laptop does not have a larger, ergonomic keyboard.

Technorati: elbow, ulnar, ulnar nerve, elbow surgery, cubital tunnel