Everyone has pets during some point in their life. When I was a kid, we lived out in the middle of nowhere, and stray cats and dogs were always finding their way to our house. At one point we had a whole litter of ten adorable puppies. This made going out the front door a real treat. As soon as those lil' round pups heard the door open, they'd run over, in an excited frenzy. It was so awesome.
My brothers and I would lie down in the grass, whistle, and wait for a million puppy kisses. I don't know if I'll ever experience that again, but I'm sure glad I had the opportunity to feel all that puppy love.
It was great for me. I didn't have to buy them food, or worry about them having heart worms, or if they got hurt.
My parents did.
Which brings me to the title of this posting, "Hamster School." I had this bright idea six months ago to get Amelie a pair of hamsters. She loves animals a lot, so it seemed natural that she ought to have one. In a perfect world, she'd have gotten a puppy, as those are her favorite animals of all. But, she settled with hamsters.
When we got them, they were the size of quarters. Literally. Their breed is small and SUPER fast. I'm talking like, lightening-fast. Once, one of them got loose in the house for three days. And when I finally found her under the stove in the kitchen, she zipped out so quickly that it scared the shit out of me! It also made holding them pretty impossible, which was the point of getting them for Amelie in the first place. Poor kid never got to hold them.
Anyway, the pair of "hammies" were sisters and fought constantly over food. Are you kidding me? There was plenty of food.
But, this is what hamsters do, apparently. They play tug-of-war with nuts, poop and pee everywhere, build large, unstable nests and climb the walls at night because they are nocturnal and pissed off.
One day, while talking to my Aunt Sherry on the phone, we had this idea to "Send them away to Hammy High School." Is it real? No. We'd like to think it is though. Sure sounds fun. We even talked about all the things they'd learn at school, like hamster manners, socialization, and getting haircuts at "Hamster Cuts." We had it all figured out.
Now, I just had to broach the subject with Amelie. So, this is how it went.
Me, "Amelie, what would you think about sending the hammies away to a special school? They could learn new things, make new friends."
Amelie, "Is it for real?"
Me, "Yes! They will get hamster backpacks, and sleep in bunk beds. It'll be great! So, what do you think?"
Amelie, "Tell me more!"
It was decided that the best thing for the hamsters would be to send them to Hammy High. It just felt right. So, I called the Dean at the school, also known as "Craigslist, " and away they went, to a very nice family with a teenage girl who could take care of them much better than Amelie.
I feel...a little guilty though. I mean...one day she's going to realize what I've done, right? How long can I keep this up? She's going to kill me when she figures it out! I'm a little worried.
I hope she doesn't send me to Hamster School too.
My brothers and I would lie down in the grass, whistle, and wait for a million puppy kisses. I don't know if I'll ever experience that again, but I'm sure glad I had the opportunity to feel all that puppy love.
It was great for me. I didn't have to buy them food, or worry about them having heart worms, or if they got hurt.
My parents did.
Which brings me to the title of this posting, "Hamster School." I had this bright idea six months ago to get Amelie a pair of hamsters. She loves animals a lot, so it seemed natural that she ought to have one. In a perfect world, she'd have gotten a puppy, as those are her favorite animals of all. But, she settled with hamsters.
When we got them, they were the size of quarters. Literally. Their breed is small and SUPER fast. I'm talking like, lightening-fast. Once, one of them got loose in the house for three days. And when I finally found her under the stove in the kitchen, she zipped out so quickly that it scared the shit out of me! It also made holding them pretty impossible, which was the point of getting them for Amelie in the first place. Poor kid never got to hold them.
Anyway, the pair of "hammies" were sisters and fought constantly over food. Are you kidding me? There was plenty of food.
But, this is what hamsters do, apparently. They play tug-of-war with nuts, poop and pee everywhere, build large, unstable nests and climb the walls at night because they are nocturnal and pissed off.
One day, while talking to my Aunt Sherry on the phone, we had this idea to "Send them away to Hammy High School." Is it real? No. We'd like to think it is though. Sure sounds fun. We even talked about all the things they'd learn at school, like hamster manners, socialization, and getting haircuts at "Hamster Cuts." We had it all figured out.
Now, I just had to broach the subject with Amelie. So, this is how it went.
Me, "Amelie, what would you think about sending the hammies away to a special school? They could learn new things, make new friends."
Amelie, "Is it for real?"
Me, "Yes! They will get hamster backpacks, and sleep in bunk beds. It'll be great! So, what do you think?"
Amelie, "Tell me more!"
It was decided that the best thing for the hamsters would be to send them to Hammy High. It just felt right. So, I called the Dean at the school, also known as "Craigslist, " and away they went, to a very nice family with a teenage girl who could take care of them much better than Amelie.
I feel...a little guilty though. I mean...one day she's going to realize what I've done, right? How long can I keep this up? She's going to kill me when she figures it out! I'm a little worried.
I hope she doesn't send me to Hamster School too.
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